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Plan 9 From Cyberspace
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Date:2005-09-01 09:53
Subject:Mod post

For a change, I've altered the community settings for this month so that anybody can post a movie recap. No more calling dibs ... just go ahead and recap all you want, any movie you want. It'll probably be a permanent change, though -- I don't think we'll have too much of a problem with anyone misbehaving.

And please feel free to pimp to the community. It's been a little quiet around here -- heck, nobody posted a single recap in August -- so we could use the advertising. :)

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Date:2005-07-31 22:00
Subject:The Mummy Returns - Part II

The Mummy Returns Cont.Collapse )

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Date:2005-07-31 21:47
Subject:The Mummy Returns - Part I

Welcome to a review of ‘The Mummy Returns’ – 2001 edition. I did not do this one alone. kouryou did most of the commentary on this one. I just wrote it down.

The problem with reviewing a sequel without first reviewing the original is that sometimes you do have to sum up the previous movie. So. ‘The Mummy’ can be found here at the imdb.

Think Romeo and Juliet with lots of beetles, sand, and more people getting shot. And Romeo and Juliet are evil. In fact, there's so much running around, this could almost be West Side Story – with loincloths.

In short, Imohetep, one of the pharaoh’s trusted servitors, got it on with the pharaoh’s favorite and bad things happened as a result. The girl was killed and he tried to revive her only to be caught and sealed in a tomb under a curse for all eternity. dorothywwom likes to point out that it wasn’t really a punishment for him, as if someone freed him, he got to destroy everyone else.

At any rate, a young librarian (Evey), her cowardly brother (Jonathan) and an unlikely hero (Rick), aided by a devastatingly sexy man who is sworn to keep the mummy eternally buried (Ardeth), accidentally wake Imhotep, suffer through a lot of murders, snarky dialogue, reincarnation issues, improbable running about and acts of heroism before sending him back to his pseudo-eternal prison.


So, for your enjoyment, allow us to present the sequel which features even more snarky dialogue, improbable stunts, marvelous special effects and a total lack of anything even remotely resembling proper Egyptian mythology or Earth Logic.

The Mummy Returns - 2001Collapse )

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Date:2005-07-27 09:58
Subject:The Hitcher II: I've Been Waiting (part 2)
Mood: confused

The finished recap on The Story About The Psycho Hitchhiker Who Wasn't Really All That Scary.

My brain melts, though it's my own fault, really.Collapse )

Moral of the story: It's better to be safe than sorry. Always bring magic handkerchiefs with you on road trips.

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Date:2005-07-26 21:35
Subject:National Treasure, Part II
Mood: hot

The second half of National Treasure! In which Ben has a terrible sense of timing, Riley nearly gets killed several times, and Sean Bean is still in the movieCollapse )

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Date:2005-07-25 08:59
Subject:August dibs post

And yea, did I bring the August dibs post. And it was good, y'all.

As for me, I call dibs on Deep Impact.

(I've also updated the comm for the people who said they'd be willing to co-mod, so that's that done. :))

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Date:2005-07-24 23:15
Subject:National Treasure, Part 1
Mood: pleased

So I was hoping to do this for the Fourth of July, but then I realized that the Fourth of July is about honoring America and uh... this really isn't the way to do it.

Many thanks to skyblade for making sure this was actually publishable.

So I present to you: National Treasure. It's very confusing, but also very convenientCollapse )

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Date:2005-07-10 14:32
Subject:The Hitcher II: I've Been Waiting (part 1)
Mood: chipper

According to IMDB, The Hitcher is an 80's movie starring Rutger Hauer as a psycho hitchhiker who goes around killing people. I've never actually seen the original suspense/thriller but I'm guessing that it’s a cult classic because, well, Rutger Hauer.

Whatever the case, I rented and watched the sequel The Hitcher II: I've Been Waiting cold turkey, so expect no appreciation for references to the original (if any). That said, The Hitcher II on its own is a B-movie suspense/thriller wannabe with little smarts and less originality. That doesn’t necessarily make it awful… Just a perfect candidate for a bad movie recap.

Since this movie pretends to be a slasher-thriller, I shall be using the Body Count format as has been used previously. After all, you can’t watch a wannabe slasher-thriller without an official Body Count.

On with the recap!Collapse )

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Date:2005-07-01 13:42
Subject:Boa vs Python

Today’s movie is Boa vs Python, brought to you by the letters D and H and the number 2.

I am not ashamed to admit that I deliberately picked out this movie and brought it home. On purpose. There were three reasons for this. 1. I like snakes – particularly constrictors. A lot. 2. I like David Hewlett almost as much as I like snakes. 3. It was a free rental.

I did watch the movie. I then forced two of my friends to watch it (for which they have yet to forgive me) and went out and found it second hand for a few dollars so that I could have it long-term just to share with the rest of you. This is a bad movie. I would go so far as to say that it’s a terrible movie… and yes, I’ve seen Anaconda, Boa, Python and Python 2. I love my Sci Fi channel’s themic bad movie marathons.

(As a side note, it is useful to have seen Python 2 before viewing this movie. This is not a recommendation, by the way, simply a comment.)

At any rate, this is a movie starring a pair of huge, CGI snakes, David Hewlett and a blonde chick with the prerequisite amount of cleavage. Also a totally gratuitous bath and almost-sex scene. What more could anyone ask for?

On with the mockageCollapse )

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Date:2005-06-29 09:49
Subject:July dibs post

My apologies for not posting this sooner, but I've been a wee bit busy with personal stuff.

Okay, my pretties, you know the drill. Dibs away for July. (And feel free to pimp to your friends to see if they'd be up for a go. We could always use more writers. ;))

EDIT: Also, anyone up for being a co-mod? I could use an extra person to help out and put entries in the memories, 'cause I tend to forget.

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Date:2005-07-01 22:32
Subject:Underworld Synopsis: Part Two

Underworld Synopsis: Part TwoCollapse )

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Date:2005-07-01 22:31
Subject:Underworld: Part One

Getting what I don't have to fine-tune in under the deadline...

Starring Kate Beckinsale & Scott Speedman

This is the unrated, extended cut version, which I haven't seen before, so it should be interesting to see how it differs from the version I saw in the theater.

Underworld Synopsis: Part OneCollapse )

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Date:2005-05-31 23:01
Subject:Cubecap, part 2

Continued from here.

Cube, part 2Collapse )

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Date:2005-07-01 22:05

I'm not going to have my May entry posted tonight, but I should be able to get it posted tomorrow night. Hopefully I can finish up/polish at lunch tomorrow.

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Date:2005-05-31 19:23
Subject:Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever

Ahh, I got it in on time. Barely. But on time. Cool. Ballistic is of course, another action movie filled chock full of explosions and fisticuffs. Which is why I like it. That and Banderas. And Lucy Liu.

Ballistic: In which Things get Blown UpCollapse )

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Date:2005-05-30 12:32

Cube, part 1Collapse )

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Date:2005-05-28 17:55
Subject:Fifth Element Finished

Get out your torches and pitchforks to menace me with, for here is Fifth Element...Spaceport hi-jinks to The Glorious EndCollapse )

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Date:2005-05-28 16:24
Subject:June dibs post

I'm late, I know, but heck, better late than never. ;)

Here's the June post for calling dibs on movies to recap. I still have to put a few of the recaps in the memories, though, so if you're not sure if a movie's already been recapped, feel free to ask.

Remember, you can call dibs on any movie you want, but all movies you call dibs on MUST be recapped any time between June 1 and June 30.

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Date:2005-05-25 22:42
Subject:5th Element

TheFifth Element
by Luc Besson
starring Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich and Gary Oldman

In the beginning, there was a Plot Hole. It was large, and all consuming, and its secret was carefully kept by guardian priests in a pyramid in Egypt. And Then:Collapse )

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Date:2005-05-17 12:34
Subject:Maine Pyar Kiya, Part 3

More strange subtitles, more plot twists, more villains, and honoring the gods through Michael Jackson imitations!Collapse )

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